Friday, October 1, 2010

ENG 101.0800                                                                                 October 1, 2010
Prof. Magdalena Bogacka
Gladys Otavalo

In reality, there are many reasons for how the qualities of a man can reflect a fascinating masculinity. The qualities have created a big impulse in many men, especially "male rockers” to begin to exercise and strengthen their muscles of the body creating a real, powerful, dominant and strong public image. Although, there are many different activities and sports which can help to develop a male body stronger and bigger muscles, lifting weights is one of the most practiced sports for men, especially “male rockers”. This sport makes stronger men stronger in terms of body, mind and spirit. It also allows the man to develop a new lifestyle in a professional area and overall provides them the best opportunity for achieving complete success in the society through their physical perfection.
Lifting weights has motivated most men to get their dreams from getting a magnificent and spectacular physical and mental appearance like in the Men’s Fitness Magazine’ advertising (109) a young man feels proud for having his harder arms and a massive chest. In fact, many men love to lift weights because it allows them to make their muscles bigger which increases their optimism and their facial features reflect a lot of sensuality, pleasure and power. For example, the Men’s Fitness Magazine published a true story about a man named Kirk Myers who was a shy man because his weight was nearly 300 pounds. He had few friends and spent a lot of time alone in his bedroom, but his worry was not only physical, it was mental because he was unhappy about himself. After that he decided to go to the gym. His workout includes an hour on the treadmill at a slow speed and high incline. Consequently he gained confidence and pushed harder. A decade later, he has lost 125 pounds and kept it off.  Lifting weights keeps a closer relationship between minds and the body because it requires great concentration, dedication and practice to work on each exercise getting a successful workout. In addition, every workout should be stronger and most painful, its intensity strengthen all the muscles of the body and the mind showing strength and muscle.
Lifting weights is more than a sport; it is a new lifestyle. The men who practice it constantly have become bodybuilders which enable them to get a career like the advertising man who is a professional trainer and he takes care of his own business. For example, in Kirk Myers’ case his past helped him a lot because after his unforgettable experience he has earned a degree to be a personal trainer. Today, he lives in New York and he feels very happy and proud from helping others to be in the best shape of their lives. This profession allows him to do what they love to train others, teach them good techniques to get muscles, the best way to achieve an adequate and healthy nutrition and overall they teach to others the consequences about of the use and the abuse of steroids (Men’s Fitness-136). In addition, in 1904 a man was declared the winner of the first American bodybuilding contest called "The most perfectly Shaped Man in the World". Consequently, this sport of lifting weights has had a huge impact on masculinity encouraging many men to become more aggressive, stronger and have bigger muscles to have a better lifestyle.
Finally, this exciting sport, weight lifting, has caused many men to have a different and special acceptance in society.  Many years ago, the unique and accepted public figure to model and promote any product was the woman. However, times have changed; men have struggled to achieve their goals by creating your own personal and public image for society. For example, For instance, Bordo in her article refers about -rocker male- saying: “Many models stare coldly at the viewer, defying the observer to view them in any way other than how they have chosen to present themselves: as powerful, armored, emotionally impenetrable. “I am a rock;” their bodies (and sometimes their genitals) seem to proclaim”. In this way, this sport has created a significant value of strong physical developing the most valuable and harder core in society and the world.
Although women have enough mental and physical capacity to lift weights, it is necessary to recognize that women are characterized by their beautiful shape, smoothness, and softness.  In fact, the weight training area is almost always the male territory and if the woman makes the decision to lift weights, would end by having a muscular male physique looking little  feminine to society.
In conclusion, lifting weights is a sport that allows men to look stronger with a harder muscle allowing the male to have a excellent physical development and efficient ability to demonstrate their strength and muscle in his field, but more importantly, the male will get much success with his masculinity.

3 comments:

  1. While overall, this is an effectively structured and developed essay, you do not in fact analyze an ad; instead you discuss an article??? Please reread the assignment and make sure you complete it as required.
    I really like your introduction about the relationship between men developing or strengthening their bodies in order to appear more masculine to others and to society. But your introduction does not mention anything about advertisements, specifically the ad you will analyze and the product? Also, I’m not sure what you mean in the first two sentences. Reasons that reflect fascinating masculinity? Who are the ‘male rockers’? Do you mean rock and roll musicians?
    Your first paragraph makes interesting observations about the increase in men’s confidence due to working out and improving their bodies. But this assignment asked you to analyze an advertisement for a men’s product? You are retelling/summarizing what you read in an article in Men’s Fitness Magazine.
    Your second paragraph, much like your first one, is well written. But you are describing the story and career of Kirk Myers, on whom the article focuses. Also this paragraph shifts to the history of body building in the sixth sentence?
    Your third body paragraph uses a quote from Bordo’s chapter. Please include the page number, on which it appears in Bordo’s chapter, in parentheses at the end of the quote. Also you need to explain the quote since you are incorporating it into your paper. The ‘rock’ pose Bordo mentions is not quite the same as ‘male rocker’?
    You only mentioned masculinity once in your introduction and conclusion?

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  2. The essay is well typed and put time into but it doesn't show what the task assignment says to do.
    I understand your thesis as it is similar to mine but it doesnt follow with the task.You do explain in your essay well but your not identifing an advertisement. Although you arent using an ad, your idea supports your thesis on how sports make men into wanting a fascinating masculine form in society.You didnt conclude your essay on an ad but you can use your idea when find an ad that expresses the same fascinating masculinity.
    What needs improvement is your source, your talking about a story in a article but the task says to anaylsis and advertisement and you also need to check on how qoute the Bordo reading because you seem to have misplaced the quotations.

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  3. Peer Review: Structure and Clarity

    1. No I dont think the writer adressed the task at hand. Her essay was interesting but didnt answer the question given.

    2.
    A.Yes it contains a thesis but I think the thesis has taken a step in the wrong direction. The essays direction is something that could of been used as supporting topics to reflect an advertisment to a certain type of masculinity.
    B.No the body paragraphs do not foucs on just one idea. They are a little all over the place about the subject of men's fitness. I also feel the reader should do a little meo research into the history of men's fitness if shes gonan sue it as her main argument.
    C.No i dont feel the writer smoothly carried me from one paragraph to the next for all the paragraphs in the paper. Clearer idea choices for each body paragraph would create differentation and thus giving the writer more oppurtunity to show transitions to a new idea in a new paragraph.
    D. The conclusion doesnt really reflect the introduction and its very short and breif and talks about a subject not mentioned throught the body paragraphs.
    4. The overall structure of the essay si good, I think the diea that is the basis of the this paper is interesting and can beused to create a great paper about the assignment, but not this subject just alone.
    4. Give more of a description of the masculinity you ahve chosen to discuss, refelct back to the ad you picked and make connections between the ad and all this wonderful information about mens fitness. Conclude stronger and reconnect with the introduction and your topic sentences.

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